yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Do you still have your period?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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