...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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