On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
