Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
