I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
there is glitter all over my balls
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
