Sry I called you an 8
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
