I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
