I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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