Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i love accidental penises.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
