Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
