I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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