Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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