She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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