She is in my trunk
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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