so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize