I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
