I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
