It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize