they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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