If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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