First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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