I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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