tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
