you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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