And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I smell stomach acid.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
