I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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