What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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