I didn't shave. On purpose
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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