If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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