It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
