saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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