I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
