she woke up with a sticky ear
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
