Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My breasts were aching with rage.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
