And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
