so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize