Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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