We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
