The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize