The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
