I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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