Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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