Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
