I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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