So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
