Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
