well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
When are your genitals available?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
