When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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