Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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