well you can't waste a boner
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
