Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
