dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
