It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is Oprah even human
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
