Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
