YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
