Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
