Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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