Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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