I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
