I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize