she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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