420 ftw
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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