I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Your penis caused this!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize