if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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