There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
