we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think your dad took our porno
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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