ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
