He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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