I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize