do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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