grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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