just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
