I accidentally burped into my bong.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
